Home for the Holidays!

The holidays can be a time of renewal — renewal of friendships through visits and cards; renewal of family relationships through gatherings and shared meals; and a renewal of one’s faith through the rituals of the season.  All this activity also makes the holidays a time of added stress. Did you ever see the movie, Home for the Holidays? That was our family — a whirlwind of gathered craziness.

If wisdom comes with age, I can say that after experiencing so many of these holidays, I’ve come up with some practical tips to get you through yours. You may even end up enjoying the holidays more than you thought you would.

Be realistic. The holidays don’t have to be your idea of perfect; or exactly the same as last year. As families change and grow, their traditions and rituals often change as well. Choose a few to hold on to and be open to creating new ones. For example, if your older children can’t come “home,” find new ways to celebrate together, such as sharing pictures, emails or videos. Or think about rotating locations or even taking a family holiday vacation to a dream destination.

Keep it simple. Keeping the decorating down to a minimum will help with the stress. I have reduced my stash down to one box full of the most meaningful ornaments, tree trimmings and decorations. Also, I stop waking up early the day after Thanksgiving to fight the crowd to save a nickel. Spending that time relaxing with family is much more meaningful to me now.

Stick to a budget. Before you go gift and food shopping, decide how much money you can afford to spend, and then stick to your budget. An avalanche of gifts doesn’t buy happiness. I’ve found some great alternatives to buying stuff, like donating to a charity in someone’s name, giving homemade gifts, or even starting a family gift exchange. As a family, we have a blast with the white elephant gift exchange that has a dollar amount limit on the spending.

Plan ahead. Set aside specific days for shopping, baking, visiting friends and other activities. To prevent last-minute scrambling to buy forgotten items, plan simple menus and then make your shopping list. That’ll help prevent last-minute scrambling to buy forgotten items. Also, if you’re the one hosting the event, make sure to line up help for party prep and cleanup.

Come together. Familiar holiday foods can evoke positive memories, and many hands make quick work. Let each family member participate by bringing their favorite and traditional dish to your holiday gathering. Then share the leftovers amongst the crowd.

Late night.  It’s now become a tradition at our house — when family and friends come to visit or stay during the holidays, it’s time to break out the board games. Monopoly seems to be the game of choice, and games often last late into the night.

Don’t abandon healthy habits. Holidays often become a free-for-all of overindulgence.  Feeling guilty about eating too much of the wrong foods only adds to your stress. Have a healthy snack before holiday parties so you don’t go overboard on sweets or rich foods. Limit yourself to one or two drinks, continue to get plenty of sleep, and stay physically active.

Take a breather. Make some time for yourself. Spending just 15 minutes alone with no distractions will refresh you enough to handle everything you need to do. Take a walk at night and stargaze or listen to soothing music. Find something that reduces stress by clearing your mind, slowing your breathing and restoring your inner self.

Learn to say no. Saying yes when you should say no can leave you feeling resentful and overwhelmed. Friends and colleagues will understand if you can’t participate in every project or activity.

Perfection and trying to be all things to all people, especially at the holidays, is the ultimate recipe for stress.  You’ll enjoy the holidays more when you let go of unreasonable expectations, are open to change, and take time for yourself.  Just sayin.’

Published: Apartment News Magazine – November/December issue 2012