Building Connections

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Last time, we talked about building your leadership brand. One thing leaders are usually good at is building connections. After all, success is not just about who you know, it’s about forming connections quickly and authentically. Both personal and business accomplishments are about having the right connections, which lead to new opportunities.

But how can we shape these connections? From spearheading my own company and forming a close group of friends, I’ve learned a thing or two about building relationships. Here are some ways I’ve found that work to cultivate a positive network where everyone involved believes in the principal of win-win relationships.

Make eye contact and smile. When you focus on the person speaking, you let them know they’ve been heard and that you aren’t worrying about what to make for dinner or how bad traffic on the Big-I is. Smiling is an easy way to convey warmth and likeability, and it’s contagious. Some of the most important people in my life have been won over by a smile and genuine interest in what they have to say. People will walk away thinking you’re a friendly, relatable person, which is exactly what you want when creating connections.

Give a firm handshake. A handshake that’s not too hard and not too soft, or these days a purposeful elbow bump does wonders to help people decide whether they like you or not within seconds of meeting you. No matter if it’s introducing yourself to a new employee or a potential business partner, a firm handshake contributes enormously to a positive first impression.

Attend to your appearance. Although this might go without saying, good hygiene and paying attention to your physical appearance is important for social and psychological health. It improves the way others view you – remember, first impressions are lasting ones. Taking care of yourself and dressing professionally is a form of self-respect that encourages others to treat you with that same level of respect.

Listen. Whether it’s a business deal or making plans with your friends, communication is key to a strong, lasting relationship. Recap what you’ve heard to ensure you’ve understood correctly. If you find you’re unsure, say, “If I’m understanding you correctly, you said….” Try it! But most importantly, don’t talk over or interrupt the speaker. When you listen, you show the other person you respect what they have to say, whereas interrupting someone shows that you don’t.

Remember names and personal info. Practice using someone’s name in conversation. Not only does it help us cement their names in our mind, but it signals that you’re interested in making a connection with the other person. Bonus if you remember their spouse/children/pets’ names. It shows you are genuinely interested in them and their life.

Talk about yourself. Once you’ve done all the above, reveal something about yourself. Find some common ground: a love for horses, a desire to be physically fit, or bettering your business. Whatever your meaningful, authentic connection is, just make sure it’s not gossip and it’s not a complaint. They’re instant turn-offs!

Be patient. Expecting an instant connection is unrealistic. Like most important things, it takes time to develop lasting relationships. Remember, everyone has different comfort levels so don’t rush the process. You catch more flies with honey.

To be truly successful and reach our full potential, we should aim to create important and meaningful connections with a broad sweep of people. When we’re open to the universe putting the right people in our path, we’re sure to find relationships everywhere. Just sayin’.