Building Connections

Success is all about who you know and while that might be a cliché, even clichés are rooted in truth. Both personal and business accomplishments are about having the right connections, which lead to new opportunities.

But how can we form these connections quickly and authentically?  From spearheading my own company and forming a close group of friends, I’ve learned a thing or two about building relationships. Here are some ways to find and cultivate a positive network where everyone involved believes in the principal of win-win relationships. 

Make eye contact and smile. When you focus on the person speaking, you let them know they’ve been heard and that you aren’t worrying about what to make for dinner or rush hour traffic. Building off that, smiling is an easy way to convey warmth and likeability, and it’s contagious! People will walk away thinking you’re a friendly, relatable person, which is exactly what you want when creating connections. Some of the most important people in my life have been won over by a smile and genuine interest in what they have to say.

Give a firm handshake. Like Goldilocks and the Three Bears, you want a handshake that’s not too hard and not too soft. Research shows that people decide whether they like you or not within seconds of meeting you. No matter if it’s introducing yourself to a new trainer at the gym or a potential business partner, a firm handshake contributes enormously to a positive first impression.

Practice good hygiene. This might go without saying, but good hygiene is important for both social and psychological health. Not only does it reduce the risk of illness, but it also improves the way others view you. Taking care of yourself is an easy form of self-respect that encourages others to treat you with that same level of respect.

Listen more than you speak. Whether it’s a business deal or making plans with your friends, communication is key to a lasting relationship. Recap what you’ve heard to ensure you understood correctly. If you find you’re unsure, say, “If I’m understanding you correctly, you said….” Try it!  But most importantly, don’t talk over or interrupt the speaker! When you listen, you show the other person you respect what they have to say, whereas interrupting someone shows that you don’t care.

Remember names and tidbits. Practice using someone’s name in conversation. Not only does it help us cement their names in our mind, but it signals that you’re interested in making a connection with the other person.

Talk about yourself. Once you’ve done all the above tips, go ahead and reveal something about yourself. Find some common ground: a love for horses, a desire to be physically fit, or bettering your business. Whatever your meaningful, authentic connection is, just make sure it’s not gossip and it’s not a complaint. They’re instant turn-offs! No one wants to be around a Debbie Downer or Negative Nancy.

Be patient. Expecting an instant connection with anyone is unrealistic. Like most important things, it takes time to develop lasting relationships. Keep in mind that everyone has different comfort levels so don’t rush the process. You catch more flies with honey.

To be truly successful and reach our full potential, we should aim to create important and meaningful connections with a broad sweep of people. When we’re open to the universe putting the right people in our path, we’re sure to find relationships everywhere. Just sayin’. 

Published: New Mexico Apartment News Magazine – March/April 2020